It's Raining Men-

There's a new dating site, Tastebuds.fm, based loosely on last.fm and music tastes. You either enter in some of your favorite bands/artists/genres or you just put in your last.fm username and bing bang boom- you're sitting in your living room listening to Steely Dan, eating a buffalo chicken wrap, with the man/woman of your dreams. Wait, that isn't everyone's dream?

So of course I just signed up for last.fm yesterday! Coincidentally I find this new dating site today? I doubt this is the internet telling me I need a boyfriend, but if it is, touche, world wide web. Anyways, I put in my last.fm username, and here are my really attractive, intelligent, perfect matches:

Sorry, we couldn't find you any matches

Thanks guys! I mean, I know I just started and I've been listening to crappy music for the past twelve hours, but at least try to set me up with the awkward guy who also likes Taylor Swift! Also, what's with the picture- am I that desperate that I'm going to have a breakdown when you can't find me love? Anyways. Based on this site, it looks like I'll just be crushing buffalo chicken and Regina Spektor alone forever. Or I can just trick everyone by adding my dream man's playlist to my last.fm track list and watch love blossom. Actually, I'm going to do just that. Let the (music) games begin.

Home Sweet Home...Apartment?

Here's a quick little (poor quality) photo tour of my new digs.

Welcome to the living room. Here is where you can watch my small, non-HDTV television that has RCN basic cable. This is the Charles Shaw of living rooms- cheap, easy, and when you don't think about it too much, it's actually pretty great.

Next we'll move into the bathroom. I didn't take a picture of the inside of the shower, but it was built for midgets. The showerhead reaches my chin, so I have to pull some serious yoga moves to wash my hair. It got me a monthly discount on rent, though, so it's all good. I would say this is the Busch Lite of bathrooms- not perfect, but with enough effort, it gets the job done. Oh, and p.s. the bathroom is tiled pink...score!

KATE SPADE

Kate Spade is having an amazing Sample Sale- up to 75% off! All you have to do is enter your first name, email, and zip code. Best part? ALL shipping is $5! I'm definitely going to have to treat myself to a new summer clutch!   SALE SALE SALE

What I should be saving for is a new laptop, since I currently have to use a usb-connected keyboard because my "x" key is broken and makes my typing seem like it's coming from some type of porn star. Dealspl.us has some great electronic coupon codes, but I think this Kate Spade sale is going to trump any laptop purchases. 

Turn Ons Vs. Turn Offs

So Cracked.com, a site that requires at least one daily visit, made a list of the 6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off. Needless to say, it should bring some good humor to an otherwise lagging Wednesday.

#6.

Talking to Her

So you're in a club and--thanks to those eight shots of Jager, each of which you swear is making you exponentially sexier than you were before you downed them--you finally decide to approach the hot chick you've been leering creepily at all night. You've got your game face on and an arsenal of pick-up lines that would slay a Victoria's Secret catwalk.

With a perfect storm of raw sex appeal like this brewing all around you, it comes as no surprise to you that the object of your carnal desires is flirting back.   

But then, just as you're preparing to land your plane at Bonesville International Airport, she starts backing off. Somehow, the more you talk to her, the less smooth you become. When she awkwardly ends the conversation five minutes later you're literally babbling like a moron. A moron with a now totally useless boner.

What the Hell Happened?!

If you feel like you sound stupid when you talk to women, don't worry, you do. In a recent study, men chatted with attractive women and then were subjected to basic tests. They failed miserably. And when we say "basic tests" we don't mean fourth grade math, either. We're talking not being able to remember your own address (unless you were asked to take a woman there, right, killer?)

"Sorry, it appears I have punctured my copy of the test with my boner."

Unsurprisingly, the more attractive you find a woman, the worse this effect is and the stupider you will sound when talking to her. The scientists didn't go so far as to say what everyone was thinking (that the effect is caused by blood flowing away from your brain and directly to your junk), but women suffered no such memory lapses at all when tested after chatting with handsome studs like you.

However, one of the scientists did say the difference could be down to the fact that women are interested in things other than looks while men are "reproductively focused," which is a much more tactful, scientific way of saying, "Dudes get easily distracted by the thought of boning."

KEEP READING

Another Round, Bartender!

So a short while back, I found an interesting article about how both men and women drinkers earn more (up to 14% more!) than their non-drinking counterparts. Clearly, this was pleasant news, considering that I haven't yet committed to (or considered) a sober lifestyle. Basically, according to Peters and Stringham, I should continue drinking as long as I'm employed- excellent.

As for the benefit to men, the study showed that men who drank at bars added an additional 7% more income. I know I'm not a math wiz, but if my future husband is making $100,000 (I wish) by the time we are married, and I let him get his drink on in bars, he could be adding $7,000 a year to our vacation fund, or a future college fund for one of our spoiled children, or even my shopping fund, whereas if he isn't frequenting our local pub, I should be considering other men who do?

There's some food for thought there, definitely.

However, much to my dismay, I see this article today, highlighted by the key sentence: “The better-educated appear to be the ones who engage the most in problematic patterns of alcohol consumption.” 


Now I have to decide whether my competition in the workplace is going to drive me to become a problem drinker in the future? Should I make less than other women in comparable jobs because I'm deciding to go home, pour myself a nice, cold glass of water, and shout out incorrect answers at Alex Trebek? Unfortunately for my future self, I am going to stick with the occasional drinking. I think that there's too much at stake for a woman like me to be making less money than another women, especially when the solution is simply something that I've been perfecting for the past four years. And to all the other ladies out there, competitive or not: I'm not much into betting, but my odds are on the drinks.

Goodbye, Al Skinner

So, he's fired, but they're unsure if he'll remain for the 2010-2011. The real question is: Will he still be a Big & Tall model? What will Watertown do without his oversized facial features?

Sayonara Al Skinner

Passive Aggressive Workplace

So there has been quite a recycling uproar at our little non-profit. Apparently there are 20 preschoolers working here. Check out "passive-aggressive" Fridays-

Don't worry, there are more-

It took the Catholics long enough...

...BUT now they are using 3-D to lure in children. I mean, talk about being ahead of the curve. You can't rely on blind faith anymore- blame it on the economy, maybe, but kids just aren't buying religion because of their parents these days. What they are buying, however, is Avatar and other 3-D movies. I remember when 3-D was a huge deal, but now it's basically real life. After visiting Disney this past fall, it's clear that living in anything less than three dimensions is for suckers (nevermind learning that NO ONE in America can walk 20 feet without stopping to take a bite of a turkey leg and sit down in a wheelchair to move their fat asses around. Go Disney!).

"It reaches out, it goes from the screen right into the room where you are," he said. "And that's what I think is the bottom line to the message of CatholicTV network, that God reaches out to us constantly." AMEN Reverend Dan!


So grab your 3-D glasses, because Jesus is coming back, and he'll be flying down RIGHT IN YOUR FACE.   Jesus in 3-D!